Grandchild Experience, Check! by Guest Blogger Kusum Ba

Sometimes someone comes into your life and just ..... Shabd came to South Africa. I was glad but not expecting much as he would not be spending all his time at my home. I had been warned by my fellow "recent grannies" that you have a strong bond with your grandchild. Being me, i was a bit sceptical. I thought I will have the experience of being with him and in a few weeks time I wil tick off my list,"grandchild experience." I should have paid more attention to my fellow grannies; they are my friends after all- sharing our happy experiences is part of our conversations.

All i could think about is Shabd and his welfare. Is he healthy and when he's sick then it's like why so much medication Varsha? Is it necessary medication? And when he joined the creche I wanted to know how he's coping and he's so young to go to school. Where do all these feelings come from?

Once you reared your children, its suppose to be over with children!! That was Kusum's thinking!! Again God you baffle me. I churned so much water thinking will my children be able to cope through this big bad wolf of a world? Did i raise them well enough to cope, especially after the demise of their dad? During those jungle moments I kept asking God why did he put all these "Mother Instincts" in me?

Dear God, this time I'm not going to ask you "why are you creating those "Grandmother Instincts"? I have grown wiser now.

It takes time to know the nature and personality of a child.The more time I spent with him the more I wanted to be with him. No amount of pain in my joints or tiredness of my feet could stop me from staying away from him. My wise granny friends had advised me to just enjoy the experience, "no comments no criticisms no words, just concentrate on the experience."

My favourite favourite favourite time was story time. He always brought the same two books to be read to him.Through the side of my eyes I would watch his reactions to the story, the pictures, to my tone, inflection, speed and expression. His intense concentration actually made me jealous. I wish i could have at least 10% of that concentration during my mediatition!! Well with that concentration you would surely hear him repeating the story often during the following few days, and you guessed it, with the same speed intonation and expression!!

And now I'm back to my favourite past time - daydreaming of Shabd, his next visit, him as a teenager asking his Trishul mama and Kamal mama to book his ticket toSouth Africa and to come and fetch him at the airport and to take him to his Ba and him surprising me by coming and hugging me unexpectedly as he told his mamas not to tell me of his arrival and him insisting to visit Dipika masi and Desh masa IMMEDIATELY ... and... and...