Lessons on being a dream

I often understand how Frankenstein’s monster felt about his mutilated body, so much of me has been taken, oh what a price I've paid for these lessons I’m bound to learn. Yet, my inner indefatigable fighter rallies to the rescue and demands that I wear my scars with pride. I was created from a dream my father had; of a perfect being; a fragment of the Lord. What right then do I have to harbor such dark thoughts when my coming into existence was so yearned for.

My family have been fantastic, both those in Mauritius and those in South Africa. To date, we've been blessed with three batches of visitors from the Motherland…all in support and love for us.

Mummy was the first to come visit and as always, she brought with her peace, tranquility and a quiet inner strength. She cooked and cleaned and then cooked some more (as is expected of all Indian mothers), in between finding the energy to be Shabd’s willing slave.

She listened patiently to my incessant chatter of hopes, dreams and fears. She shared freely of her experiences, she gave liberally of her wisdom and gently nudged me to be more grateful for my blessings, in all forms! She chiseled away at my biases, reminded me of our Path and the Masters lessons. She brought with her an acute awareness of the path I had travelled and told me she was proud of how I was walking this uphill part of my life journey. She has known me my whole life.

Mummy & Me

Next, my brother Uresh, Tascia and the family visited us. Oh how I looked forward to their visit. They have stood steadfast by my side through the years, especially after my father passed, Uresh has been the ever protective father figure in my life. He made quite an impression on Shabd and I often hear Shabd saying, “Come Shabd!” imitating Uresh in the most serious tone he can muster.

Tascia mami, Shabd & Uresh mama!

They reminded me that life goes on, that I should spend my time making happy moments with Shabd and Akash. They showed me that cancer is not who I am, I am more; cancer is a part of what makes me special. Spending time with them, I was happy, I was surrounded my unconditional love. Uresh has known me my whole life, he was my first friend and I have fond memories of us playing hide-and-go-seek in his house. Tascia has known me more than half my life and I have often taken refuge in her arms during trying times.

The Brothers - Yash & Shabd

Big sister Nishka, Shabd & Nounou Lysie

"I think I'm in love with Tanu Mowsi...and Nani rocks! This is the good life" Shabd

The most recent visit has been from my aunts; Damyanti masi, Daksha foi, Patta masi and Sheetal (masi)! Oh the holidays we took with them as kids were nothing short of pure adventure! With them I learnt as a child to be tenacious, fiercely independent and to have a lust for life second to none. My whole life, each in their own special way, have been role models to me. Each their own brand of Hansjee magic; Daksha foi is courage, Damyanti masi is force de vie and Patta masi is comfort.

I would love to write more, but the blog is supposed to be about Shabd, and he’s only  had but a small mention (I’m sure he won’t be too pleased about that!).

Mummy, Shabd & Ba

For Shabd, the visits have been glimpses into another culture different from his own. He’s had the opportunity to learn to automatically translate what he says in Creole to English, for the benefit of his South African family. So licking pool water becomes “Good beer!” with an emphatic nod of the head to Tanu mowsi. He’s become clearer in his demands to his willing slaves; “Come sit, Some water, Go, I want …, Sit on you, Carry you, Outside, Swing, Crayon, Paint, Sorry Shabd, I love you, Ba’s bed, Read book, How are you? Radha Soami or Macaroni (if he’s feeling the joker).”

Patta masi loves rocks and shells too!

He’s been showered with love, hugs, kisses, gifts and willing companions to ramble around with him. He’s learnt by imitating Niska and Yash. He’s shown off his musical talents with the djembe & guitar. And to those lucky many, sung a touching rendition of Roja (passionately hitting the high notes at the appropriate moments!). He’s shown the South Africans how to Sega, hands flung high in the air dancing to the beat in his head - toos saali mamma, nissa la montay!*

"Sharing a cocktail with Daksha foi! Don't tell mummy!" Shabd

Patta masi, Damyanti masi, Shabd & Daksha foi

"I lurve Sheetal masi...she showed me bunny moon & BOINK! Happy You You Damyanti masi, Daksha foi & Seetal masi!" Shabd

"I'm still counting the 7 colours!" Shabd

 

When all is said and done, family is balm to my soul. This is what Frankenstein’s monster did not have. A sister to remind him how beautiful he was despite the scars, brothers that saw past the fears and were proud of you soldering on, aunts and uncles too numerous to mention individually with their own magical love that transcands all distances and a partner with unwavering strength.

I have scars, both inside and out. I am proud of my scars. Every time I look at Shabd, I’m reminded that like him, I too am a fragment of the divine and just as I dreamt of having Shabd, my father dreamed of having me.

"I love my mummy...doesn't she look just like my Naru dada?" Shabd