Father's Day

Since the passing of my father, I’ve felt quite bitter every Father’s Day knowing that my father was not here.

Father’s Day at our home was a special affair, there would be some pre-planning that went into what exactly we would get him, there was always something bought and something handmade. Not because we could not afford to buy him stuff, but rather because in my home, handmade was special, it said “I love you enough to make something of my own hands for you.”

We would all lurk around, waiting for my daddy to go for his shower, and then there would be a scurry of activity as we rushed about trying to arrange all his gifts just perfect on his dresser. After which, we would quietly retreat to our respective spaces, ears pricked up for sounds of the bathroom door opening. We knew it would take him a few minutes to carefully open his gifts, read his cards and then come around the house hugging and kissing us to say thanks! What a special memory that is, one that never fades. It is so deeply ingrained that it is like a moving picture in my mind.

So how do I still honour Father’s Day this year and make the day special for AkaShabd without feeling that familiar bitterness? To be honest, until Akash woke up on Father’s Day and we gave him his Father’s Day gifts, I expected that familiar bitterness to creep in. It did not. Instead, when I saw Akash’s eyes widen in surprise and his smile widen even more at the sight of his gifts, I imagined this is what my daddy felt every year. 



Father and son spent the morning in bed, teaching each other how to operate the cordless screwdriver and which drill bit would be best to remove the stubborn screws in Shabd’s room (that’s being renovated at the moment, but that’s a topic for another blog). They hugged, and cuddled and argued about who gets to play with which part of present. I sat with my camera and tried to capture the love and smiles, the laughter and the joy, but a camera does no justice to the event. It captures images, but not emotions. So I quietly sat on my couch and watched on over my boys playing, and I thought of my daddy and prayed he was watching over this little scene, wishing him a happy Father’s Day!





A father always watches over his child



Daddy is always watching over us!









Wobbly Legs

Shabd has mastered the fine art of crawling at high speed. We've tried, to hold his hands and encourage him to walk, but he had decided that crawling was just so much more efficient and faster at getting to his goal. Especially when his goal is a forbidden room...like the study or TV room!

Despite the contentious debate out there around walkers, Akash could not resist and bought one for Shabd. It's quite cool...has a steering wheel, gears and lots of highly annoying noises. What a joy! Shabd outright ignored the contraption for the 1st month! With nounou's kind entreaties and her immense patience, Shabd spends some time in the walker.

These past two weeks, Shabd has become more steadier...and when he's intently caught up in examining his dad's cell phone he doesn't realise he's standing on his own, then he takes a step right and whoops...his hand reaches out to steady himself.

He's also learning about his centre of balance too...again with the help of a present from Papa. This time a little push car.

Every evening, we come home and are amazed at how much growth happened that day. We come home to a smiling boy, who knows he's growing and discovering the world around him. He's learning about wobbly legs and coordinating right and left, and taking small steps and giant leaps. Through these discoveries, he always looks up expectantly at me, smiling, his eyes asking, "Mum, did you see that?"

From bendy legs to wobbly legs...and from wobbly legs to toddling legs...every day has amazement in it with Shabd in our lives!

The Sleep Struggle

Since Shabd was born, we've struggled with sleep...both us and him. We were not getting enough and Shabd just didn't need a lot. Shabd will be 11 months next week, and he still doesn't need much sleep, we still don't get enough sleep! I think it's time to accept the sad fact that i will never sleep soundly again.

Until 3 weeks ago, strangely coinciding with the start of Shabd's rhume (cold), Shabd had a fantastic routine. He ate his dinner at 17h00, bath at 18h00 then doo-doo and in bed by 19h30 - at the latest! Leaving us free to eat dinner together, still a luxuary post Shabd's arrival, and catch up. All of the sudden, it seems that Shabd has decided that he is now old enough to be part of the dinner routine and has subsequently started taking his afternoon nap progressively later so that he has the fuel to keep him going till much later.

This resulted, as you can imagine, in parents completly out of skelter with their trusted routine! "What happened?!" And along with being out of skelter, comes annoyance. Until someone quite plainly pointed out that i was being selfish! Shabd misses us during the day and wants to spend more time with us during the evening. Instead of mourning the change in routine, enjoy this new one!

So we've relaxed on the 'rules' and the 'routines' business and Shabd joins us for dinner and catches-up, adding his bit to our conversations now.

Being creatures of habit, we still try and train him to sit in his high chair during dinner, as a well behaved little boy should. A duty he obligingly does for about 10 minutes, before clamouring onto his papa to sneak a morsel off his papa's dinner plate.

Shabd must really enjoy spending all this extra time with us during the eveings, as it's a struggle to get him to go to sleep, despite large yawns and eye rubbing and chook sucking. We need to prepare his doo-doo, dim all the lights and then take turns between us for the final bedtime nodding-off-to-sleep ritual of either Akash carring Shabd round the house singing his favourite KK song or I gently bouncing Shabd on his big blue ball singing "Hare Rama Hare Krishna" until he drifts off to dreamland. Not an easy feat when Shabd is positively determined to stay awake, after all, the world is so much more exciting when my mum and papa are home!

By the time Shabd finally falls asleep, we're exhausted and quickly follow his lead to dreamland...And just to make sure he's not been left out of too much excitement and goings-on, Shabd wakes up at around 23h00 or 03h00 or both, for a quick sip of doo-doo and a looksee! I'm told that i can expect to sleep well again when Shabd grows up and leaves the home a mature, responsible man. Until then, i've been advised to accept my reality, sleep will be not mine!

The Sniffles

Even here in Mauritius, we experience winter. Most often, with the threat of an anti-cyclone in the area, the days are overcast, rainy, windy and all together very un-island like. The anti-cyclone usually lasts for 3-4 days, enough to make any islander miff! Shabd is no exception.

While he is gifted with his mother's superior genes, he does on occasion succumb to the odd viral/bacterial infection. This has been the case for the past 3 weeks. What we thought was a bout of the common sniffles has turned into 'rhume' - runny nose as Shabds paediatrician, Doctor T. so eloquently put it.

Doctor Thancanamootoo (try saying that with a mouth stuffed with bhajia), or Doctor T. as we so fondly refer to him is our go-to guy when Shabd is not well. We found him in the yellow pages on the Sunday Shabd turned one month old and was crying inconsolably. We of course, being the cool calm inexperienced newly inducted parents, were clueless on what to do. He was the only Paediatrician consulting, on emergency cases, on a Sunday. Obviously, we've stuck with him.

Doctor T. in a gentleman, quite advanced in years with excellent bedside manner...by this i mean bedside manner toward ME, the mother! He is quite small in stature, baldingish, gentle and witty. When we asked how often we should wash Shabd's hair for example, he replied that since Shabd did not go into the sugarcane fields everyday, there was not reason to wash it daily! Or when Shabd growled at him quite menacingly, by the way that's the new sound: "grrrrrrr" Doctor T quite calmly replied, "Yes...yes...I'm afraid!"

Doctor T is gentle, calm and available. And when you're a new mom and your family are kilometres away and a BBM consult with Tascia comes with its own challenges (no BBM anymore) then the closest one can come to reassurance is a Doctor T! Sometimes, i call him just for a comfort chat..."Yes Mrs. Beekharry, Shabd's a bright boy, he's developing well...nasal lavage three times a day. Call me tomorrow to let me know how he's progressing...okay then, goodbye."

Shabd by the way, is doing much better. Unfortunately, after 3 weeks of this rhume, Doctor T was obliged to prescribe antibiotics. "He's a strong boy, Mrs. Beekharry. Don't worry, he'll be fine."