Our first few days in South Africa, the blu52 way!

Well, as most of you know, I went to South Africa to receive Radiation. Looking back at my blogs, I realized that the blog posts have slowly been dwindling in numbers these past few months, I do apologise for that and for spamming you with information about me. After all, Mom Inc. was created to capture the experience of being a mom to Shabd - the joys, the sorrows, the laughter and the tears.

So...let me tell you a little about going home. I left Mauritius with a heavy heart and yet a spring in my steps. I was leaving my rock behind and going towards the open arms of my family. Talk about mixed feelings! Shabd, being intuitive as always, picked up on this inner confusion and acted up appropriately. There were many a fine screaming contest between the two, both trying desperately to gain control of the other, both testing boundaries, both sure and yet unsure about what to make of our new circumstances.

Dipika and Desh could not have created a more stable home environment for Shabd and I. Living with them forced me to look at how I was living my life, it opened up new frames of reference for me and allowed me to learn many valuable lessons. I'd like to save those for another post.

Did you know that when a pool is green and murky, but you really want it to be clear and blue, there is something called a "Shock treatment" that's given to it, so that it becomes sparkling and blue. Shabd got one of those, the blu52 way!

On our first weekend in SA, Dipika and Desh arranged a huge family get-together and thus the Hansjee's descended on Waterkloof armed with tons of food! Oh the pure JOY! Laughter and smiles and the wonderful aroma's of dokra and bhajia's and masala tea wafted to my nose, making me smile from ear to ear! How I wished my father could have been part of that homecoming party!

The Hansjee's - this Shabd is part of your family. A small shock treatment!

The girls (his cousins) were on hand to welcome him, and Shabd on his part seemed to enjoy meeting so many new people. He especially enjoyed reconnecting with Ashna masi and Sheetal masi, oh how beautiful these South African women are!

 

How I wish we could have met each family again. How I wish Shabd could have met and played with Raviva, Ela & Sejal again. Some other time perhaps.

 

Shabd joined a lovely school called "Kids on the Go" - oh boy! Here came another shock treatment!

 

Bonne Voyage Shabby...we'll miss Petrus & you!

Shabd absolutely adored Miss Sherry and even tried to convince her that the two of them could drive to Mauritius together. She really was an angel sent to keep Shabd safe and secure tightly enveloped in her wings.

 

"Let's go Miss Sherry." "Where to Shabby?" "On your car to Mau-reee-shis."

 

Maybe it's children's little bodies, their sweet hummingbird voices or having brought them into this world and nurtured them from when they weighed nothing more than a fledgling that we as parents feel that a child is fragile. Yes, by all means, "Handle with care" - they are after all a gift from God. But we too often don't realize that children are tough little cookies. Shabd especially so.

 

We had our moments, and for most of our time there, I felt like the worst mum alive, but that was my demon in my closet that I had to deal with (more about that in yet another post)!

 

Shabd astounded me. He adapted to living with Dipika masi and Desh masa, excitedly running to the door as soon as he heard the garage door opening screaming "Desh masa is home! Dipika masi is home! Yay!"

 

Heritage Day celebrations by the pool side

And even though he didn't like being separated from me for half a day when he went to school. Shabd put on a brave face and went to school like a big boy, informing me daily, as he danced a little jig, that he had cried for me none-the-less.

 

Shabd learnt to speak in full sentences and his repository of words doubled and quadrupled with each passing week. He learnt to jump on the big trampoline and clamber up the big jungle gym without a hint of fear or hesitation.

 

Shabd leaped forward towards the unknown, he embraced each day not knowing what new adventure awaited him. This little boy showed me day in and day out how I should live my life. If only I had recognized his lesson as he gave them to me, instead of now, in quiet retrospection.

 

 

It is said that children are magical, they know how to live life fully. As we grow older,  we lose this ability to see the magic and spend the rest of our lives trying to capture that magic again by reminding ourselves to be more child-like!

 

Ah! to live with a Master and not learn the daily lessons fast enough, this is a lesson in itself don't you think?

 

 

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Grandchild Experience, Check! by Guest Blogger Kusum Ba

Sometimes someone comes into your life and just ..... Shabd came to South Africa. I was glad but not expecting much as he would not be spending all his time at my home. I had been warned by my fellow "recent grannies" that you have a strong bond with your grandchild. Being me, i was a bit sceptical. I thought I will have the experience of being with him and in a few weeks time I wil tick off my list,"grandchild experience." I should have paid more attention to my fellow grannies; they are my friends after all- sharing our happy experiences is part of our conversations.

All i could think about is Shabd and his welfare. Is he healthy and when he's sick then it's like why so much medication Varsha? Is it necessary medication? And when he joined the creche I wanted to know how he's coping and he's so young to go to school. Where do all these feelings come from?

Once you reared your children, its suppose to be over with children!! That was Kusum's thinking!! Again God you baffle me. I churned so much water thinking will my children be able to cope through this big bad wolf of a world? Did i raise them well enough to cope, especially after the demise of their dad? During those jungle moments I kept asking God why did he put all these "Mother Instincts" in me?

Dear God, this time I'm not going to ask you "why are you creating those "Grandmother Instincts"? I have grown wiser now.

It takes time to know the nature and personality of a child.The more time I spent with him the more I wanted to be with him. No amount of pain in my joints or tiredness of my feet could stop me from staying away from him. My wise granny friends had advised me to just enjoy the experience, "no comments no criticisms no words, just concentrate on the experience."

My favourite favourite favourite time was story time. He always brought the same two books to be read to him.Through the side of my eyes I would watch his reactions to the story, the pictures, to my tone, inflection, speed and expression. His intense concentration actually made me jealous. I wish i could have at least 10% of that concentration during my mediatition!! Well with that concentration you would surely hear him repeating the story often during the following few days, and you guessed it, with the same speed intonation and expression!!

And now I'm back to my favourite past time - daydreaming of Shabd, his next visit, him as a teenager asking his Trishul mama and Kamal mama to book his ticket toSouth Africa and to come and fetch him at the airport and to take him to his Ba and him surprising me by coming and hugging me unexpectedly as he told his mamas not to tell me of his arrival and him insisting to visit Dipika masi and Desh masa IMMEDIATELY ... and... and...