12 Ways to Love Yourself according to Louise Hay

12 Ways You Can Love Yourself Now by Louise Hay

Learn helpful tips for self-love

I have found that there is only one thing that heals every problem, and that is: to love yourself. When people start to love themselves more each day, it’s amazing how their lives get better. They feel better. They get the jobs they want. They have the money they need. Their relationships either improve, or the negative ones dissolve and new ones begin.

Loving yourself is a wonderful adventure; it’s like learning to fly. Imagine if we all had the power to fly at will? How exciting it would be! Let’s begin to love ourselves now. 

Here are 12 Commandments to help you learn how to love yourself:

1. Stop All Criticism.

Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive. 

2. Forgive Yourself.

Let the past go. You did the best you could at the time with the understanding, awareness, and knowledge that you had. Now you are growing and changing, and you will live life differently.

3. Don’t Scare Yourself.

Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure, and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

4. Be Gentle and Kind and Patient.

Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved. 

5. Be Kind to Your Mind.

Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.

6. Praise Yourself.

Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.

7. Support Yourself.

Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.

8. Be Loving to Your Negatives.

Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release the old negative patterns. 

9. Take Care of Your Body.

Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need in order to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise do you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.

10. Do Mirror Work.

Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself while looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents while looking into the mirror. Forgive them, too. At least once a day, say, "I love you, I really love you!"

11. Love Yourself . . . Do It Now.

Don't wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or find the new relationship. Begin now—and do the best you can.

12. Have Fun.

Remember the things that gave you joy as a child. Incorporate them into your life now. Find a way to have fun with everything you do. Let yourself express the joy of living. Smile. Laugh. Rejoice, and the Universe rejoices with you!

It's Okay Mummy

There is no stability, life is constantly in a state of flux. In fact, we are all made of blubber, the whole world is made of blubber and anyone that says otherwise is blubbering!

September has rushed by and I'm ashamed to be writing the first blog for the month now, almost at the end of the month. But deep breath, it's been a challenging month and i need to be more kind to myself, so it's okay!

"It's Okay," two tiny words that mean so much to my little boy. "It's Okay" means that everything is okay with the world as he knows it. As adults, we don't often realise just how small our children are and just how big the world is to them. They rely on us to be their map of the territory, their compass, their companion while navigating new and every challenging but oh so exciting and sometimes scary terrain.

Whenever Shabd and i have a tiff, through his tears and crying he always manages to tug deep into my soul, with his big brown imploring puppy-dog eyes, sobbing "it's okay mummy" over and over to me until i reaffirm "Yes Shabd, it's okay." Two simple words that lets my little boy know that all is well in his little world.

How i wish someone would tell me "it's okay" - that yes, my little world imploded on me 9 months ago with the cancer diagnosis; that yes, weekly chemotherapy is not pleasant; that yes, being operated on twice just weeks apart is gruelling on the body; that yes, having to uproot my family so i can have radiation is frustrating; BUT, IT'S OKAY! And i wish i could believe it.

These past nine months, I've often been called strong and inspirational. I feel i have been neither. I have been a tough mistress to myself, driving myself hard, refusing to accept that my body would or even could fail me, despite the obvious indications that it has! I've allowed myself no indulgences, no forgiveness, no kindness, no compassion. I've turned drill master and ordered myself to get on with it. This was not the place nor the time for tears.

I've come to realise what a great injustice and disservice I've committed to myself. Instead of nurturing me, when i needed it most, i punished myself.

So, after much reflection, this being my birth month, and as we all know one tends to be more pensive around ones birthday, I've come to the great realisation that (drum roll please) i need to nurture my inner child! After all, i would never allow someone else to treat a child the way I've treated myself.  Dare i go as far as to say that this behaviour borders on abuse! How dare i deny myself kindness, compassion and love.

When did i stop nurturing myself? When did i stop saying, "It's Okay" to myself? Are these questions important enough to be brought up for close inspection under the spotlight? I might not have been doing this self-nurturing thing right, but the spotlight is on me now...and i see the error of my ways. So instead of beating myself up and entwining myself further into this ball of self-denial, i chose rather to hug myself tightly, Shabd style, and say "It's Okay Varsha, It's Okay."